


Playing With The Boys

by NegativNein



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Smallville, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (again), Beach Volleyball, Bruce is cooler than cool, Gratuitous 80s movie reference, Identity Porn, Jealous Steve, M/M, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3864619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NegativNein/pseuds/NegativNein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has a cunning plan. Bruce has moves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing With The Boys

Steve has a cunning plan. "Cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University", as Tony would say.

It's a nice day in Malibu, so they're having a beach volleyball tournament, because why not?  
With Nat and Clint away on a mission, it's Steve and Sam against Thor and Jane.  
The other half of the tournament is composed by billionaire boyfriends Tony and Bruce Wayne against their married friends Clark and Lex.  
Clark Kent is a reporter at the Daily Planet and Lex Luthor is apparently both an old school mate of Wayne's and an old party mate of Tony's.  
For his sins, Bruce Banner is dragged along to referee.

Sam and Thor and Steve himself are all flaunting their abs and assets in tight swim briefs.  
Steve wants to show off for Tony, Thor considers clothes an hindrance most times and Sam is just that shameless.  
The billionaire playboys are more conservatively dressed in loose, mid-thigh swim trunks and t-shirts.  
Tony is hiding the scar that followed the removal of his arc reactor, Luthor (understandably, in Steve's opinion) would want to cover his freakishly hairless body and Mr. Prince-of-Gotham would never wear something so undignified as skimpy swim briefs.  
Luthor's husband Clark keeps the trunks, but doesn't protest when Luthor playfully steals his t-shirt. To be fair, the guy has Thor-level abs.

It all starts in good fun: he and Sam make short work of over enthusiastic Thor and petite Jane, but there's no hard feelings.  
The audience, such as it is, was clearly cheering for team ThunderScience, but of course that's because Jane's just a lovely little thing and Thor is everyone's favourite.  
It's not like Steve was being maybe a little too focused and driven in a friendly match. No sir. Nope.

The Luthors give Wayne and Tony more of a challenge: Lex Luthor is really quick, agile and has good aim, but his husband Clark is a complete lummox: tall, handsome and useless. Tony is fit too, and his banter with Luthor is almost faster than the volleys, while Wayne competently lands a few points with little flair.

And then it's on: Steve can make Wayne look bad (maybe Wayne's a sore loser?) while flexing attractively in front of Tony. Yes, he may be a little immature. Yes, he's practically a jealous schoolgirl with a crush. Moving on.  
They play a goofy little scene where the teams size each other up. Tony says they'll be kind to the army retirees and Sam vows to end the 1-percenters. Steve just stares at his rival... and look at that, this close up Wayne is taller than him. And has really defined biceps. And thighs. Uh. Well, no matter, Steve's the peak of human perfection, surely that'll be enough to put a spoiled, if admittedly fit, rich guy in his place, right?

Banner flips a coin and gives first serve to the rich guys.  
Wayne moves on to the serve, unveils a cocky little grin... and casually spins the volleyball on his index finger. 

Steve may not have thought this one through.  
Tony is a good player, Sam is not.  
Tony has a superb grasp of geometry and trajectories, and Steve's used to throwing a giant Frisbee, not a volleyball.  
Wayne is ruthless, Steve is flailing.

"The 1% comes out on top, yet again!" Tony quips at the end.  


Wayne throws the ball at Steve along with a nasty wink, then he hoists Tony up in his arms for a victory spin.  
Tony's beaming, accepting congratulations from Sam and Thor and Jane and the Luthors and even from the referee!  
They're all in such a good mood that they settle in to watch the 3rd place match between the Luthors and ThunderScience, while Steve seethes in silence.

To recap:  
Tony wasn't blown away by his athletic prowess and toned physique.  
Wayne wasn't revealed as the good-for-nothing, clumsy, whiny little rich boy Steve hoped him to be.  
In fact, Tony is now settled against a rather smug Bruce Wayne, their legs entwined, cheering for Thor and laughing at Luthor.

Clearly, Steve needs better plans. Well, he's a tactical genius, he'll think of something... won't he?

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback, please please please?


End file.
